WHAT THE CHURCH GETS WRONG ABOUT SINGLENESS AND MARRIAGE

Church can be a tough place for single people. Most Christians don’t realise it, unless they’re single, but if you step back and look at our Christian culture, you’ll see that we elevate marriage. In some cases, we idolise it. We see a beautiful girl and we say, “what a catch!” We see a handsome man and say, “he’ll sure make a wonderful spouse someday.”

If they’re still not married by the age of 30, we think something’s wrong, or perhaps they’re too picky. “Why aren’t they married yet?” This is code for: something must be wrong with you. If you were living out your full potential and making all the right choices, you’d be married by now. Parents especially can put undue (and unbiblical) pressure on their kids if they don’t get married and have kids. You have to wonder whether parents are actually thinking about what’s best for their kids, or just wanting what’s best for themselves—i.e. grandkids. Singleness is rarely viewed in positive light in Christianity, even though it’s extolled in the New Testament.

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