Many people really don’t know what to say when dealing with grieving friends, and sometimes they blurt out things that don’t help at all, but actually deepen the sorrowing person’s pain.
Most of the time, your words aren’t all that important anyway. By simply showing up—showing love, and a readiness to listen—you are able to bring comfort to these grieving ones. Sometimes, you ask the individual what he or she is facing, and then you just close your mouth and listen with both ears. Many times, simply because they don’t want to be uncomfortable, rejected, or look silly, people keep their distance from those who grieve. Or if they do spend time with that individual, they will steer clear of mentioning the one who died. That’s no comfort at all. The grieving spouse or parent wants that loved one to be remembered. Many times, we will say things don’t help at all, but actually deepen the sorrowing person’s pain.
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