One of the clearest pictures of marriage in scripture is in Ephesians 5:21-33. Earlier in the chapter Paul had been talking about living life filled with the Holy Spirit. He then paints a vivid picture of what that looks like in a marriage. Here’s the starting point, Paul says we all are to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” – Ephesians 5:21. Then Paul fleshes out what that way of living looks like in marriage. 

First, each partner needs to understand that God is in charge of a marriage, and that it should reflect His nature—His love, His concern, His radical sacrifice. Marriage is not about fulfilling your own wants and needs; it’s about fulfilling someone else’s.

Second, marriage won’t work unless you learn how to love your mate not as you define love, but as God defines it. It also means you must love your mate in a way that he or she is designed to receive it.

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